“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.”
~~ Charles Dickens
“When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.”
~~ Maya Angelou
The Evil Team Leader has been better lately, but it appears that he will always need to be a jerk now and then. He was amazing on Sunday, and awesome the first half of Monday. Alas, he turned into a d*ckhead the second half of the day.
I’ve been dealing with a lot stress lately. I spend a lot of energy not falling into it. A big part of that is finding the positive in every day.
But boy, toward the end on Monday! He was in rare form.
And then came support in an unexpected person.
For some years there has been a person in our department that can only be described as nasty. Rude. Mean. Unkind. And far more. She is the kind of person to walk up to you and demand that you do something (and she isn’t a team leader or anything!) and then spin on her heel and walk off—no please or thank you, nothing!
Then to my shock, about a month or so ago, she walked up to me and said, “Ben, I need to clear the air on a lot of things in my life and one si with you. Why is it that you think I don’t like you.”
I didn’t know what to say. I was speechless. How could she even ask? And typically me fashion, I opened my mouth to brush it off and not deal with it. Let’s just be happy.
But then a voice in my head said, Hey, she’s asking and she seems like she means it. Don’t disrespect her by not answering.
So I told her. I told her some of the rude things she had done to me. I explained how brusque and rude she could be.
Well guess what? She apologized. We hugged. We’ve hugged sense. She smiles!
And she hasn’t reverted.
Sunday she shared why. She told me a lot about herself. Much of it had to do with the fact that she had never dealt with the death of her father and not allowed herself to even cry. She cut herself off from her emotions.
But she has a very young daughter now. A daughter that she adores. That she would do anything for. And she realized that she couldn’t be that way anymore. Even her daughter was not immune from her temper. So she got help. Went to doctors and a professional she could talk to and she learned a lot about herself and she transformed.
And this past Sunday she began to ask me about my recent problems and depression and actually gave me some amazing advice. We talked about fatigue and depression and anxiety and more. It was really amazing and the last ever conversation I ever expected to have with this woman.
Yesterday, right after the ETL happened to be a total ass, she came to me and we started talking and she reminded me of things that I already know and already believed but forgot in my feelings of upset and anxiety that I had been thrown into from the ETL’s nastyness. She reminded me not to let him ruin my day and not to spare him a thought and ignore him, that he wasn’t worth it.
And just like that the maelstrom was gone! The relief was immediate and total and powerful. Just like that I was in a calm and wonderful place. It was incredible and the relief was immense.
What unexpected support!
From a person I never thought I would ever talk to about peace and love and more.
So today I am deeply thankful and grateful for what has happened to her and to us and to support from a person I would never expected it from.
Because anyone can change.
It’s going to be easier to face days and work because of this woman.
And again, I am deeply grateful!
photograph, “Two Cranes,” by wallyir from morgueFile