“Desire: the starting point of all achievement.”
~~ Napoleon Hill
I am finding that I am thankful that I don’t already have everything I want—that all my dreams haven’t come true yet.
But I know they will!
I have said before and I will say again that something that I really, really do love about being my age is that I know it’s true—it does get better. I look back over my life and I seen wondrous times and I see some dark ones.
The first few years with my first husband was incredible. I learned a lot. I became a better person. I made mistakes and learned from them. I was in love. Wow, was I in love.
The last five years with my first husband was bad. It was really bad. I thought I wouldn’t get through it. I seemed trapped. I was in such pain.
But I did. What does not kill us can make us stronger, huh? In this case it’s true. And the bad times did end and good times came again.
The first few years I worked where I work now were incredible. I learned so much. I got to use my talents. And the schedule allowed me lots of time to write—and that got me published. And more. I owe that job for me being a writer. That is good.
The last few years working where I work have been bad. Really bad. Hurtful. Harmful. Soul-sucking. Dream-crushing. But experience shows me that it will not last. It could have been over and done with sooner if I hadn’t gotten so depressed I wasn’t able to motivate myself into doing something to make my life better. Like looking for more jobs and filling out more applications. Leaping more.
I still have problems with my weight. I get it all down and get in pretty good shape—and then gain it all back. But each time I get back to better eating habits and get the weight off sooner than the last. At one point it might be a couple years before I got back on track. Now the longest it’s been is six months.
I don’t have a quite cabin in the woods somewhere…but I will. Or a pool that I am well off enough that I can have a pool boy take care of it (preferably while wearing a speedo). But I will.
But it is happening. I can tell—because of experience—that this dark period is finally about to pass. Life experience has shown me that it’s not bologna, it really does get better.
I don’t have to let it get me.
Not the weight I want to be, but I will finally stop the yo-yo diet and get to and stay at the weight I want. I don’t have the house I want (a ranch-style house with now steps somewhere where it doesn’t snow. But I have a house. Heck, I have two! I don’t have the computer I want, but the one I have does the job. So I am not a famous writer yet. Not a New York Times bestseller. But I will be. No movies made from one of my books—but there will be!
There are a few techonology things that would be fun and I would like to be in a position where I can travel a lot more—I really want to go spend a week with my friend Erica in Iceland and I am dying to meet my friend Noah in paradise (Hawaii) and want to meet life long dreams of going to the United Kingdom (and while there meet my online friend Elin Gregory). I very, very much want to go to India and tour and then end it up staying a week in an ashram. Oh! And Bali! I so want to go to Bali! And Rome! Oh, gosh, yes!
And I would really love to meet Lady Gaga, Bette Midler, Stevie Nicks, Ben Cohen, and last but not least, the Dahli Lama. But for gosh sakes, I am going to meet some of them!
No, I have yet to have all I desire. It is desire that motivates me to achieve.
But if I had, what would there be to look forward to?
And hey, I do have a wonderful husband, true love, a writing career, I’ve been to Egypt and the Holy Land, and have wonderful pets.
Really truly, what more could I desire.
And so far, I have at least 326 things to be grateful for.
And I don’t feel like I am settling or putting up with less than I deserve. I am happy.
I think that is pretty awesome!