“If you have to support yourself, you had bloody well better find some way that is going to be interesting.”
~~ Katherine Hepburn
So with all the bulls#it going on right now, it has been hard not to worry. I don’t let it take me over like in the old days, but it attaches and tickles. It even digs. Or tries to.
Buddhism teaches that it is totally normal and human to feel emotions. We don’t want to become stone. What we also don’t want to do is let those emotions take over. That is what messes us up. That is what hurts us. Destroys us. Makes us incapable of doing what we need to do in life.
If I worry that I won’t be able to make enough money to support myself on my writing, I won’t be able to write. If I don’t write, I don’t have anything to sell to my publisher, which means I won’t have new books to sell. If I don’t have new books to sell I won’t make any money. Which means I won’t be able to make enough money to support myself writing.
Very self fulfilling.
But I am really starting to believe in myself like never before. And wondrous things are happening.
For instance, at GayRomLit, my authors Q&A panel (along with Zathyn Priest and Devon Rhodes) was going directly against Rick R. Reed’s reading in another room and Poppy Dennison, Wade Kelly and SJD Peterson’s big game in another. Big names to choose to go to instead of coming to see me!
But there were a lot of people in the room! And people were asking questions and saying wonderful things about my stories and my writing and they were really listening to me!
It was a joy.
Today I got my royalty statement and it was a good one. I was quite happy. Over twice my last one. And the only thing new was a novella. And it wasn’t even all that new.
Plus I’ve begun to see my foreign sales figures. Money for books that I didn’t have to do anything. They are stories I’ve already written.
I can do this!
I won’t be a millionaire by this Christmas….
But who says I won’t be by next Christmas?
Thoughts become things.
The Universe doesn’t understand the difference between a “small” request and a “big” request. It’s all the same.
And someone has to be one of the first MM writers to make the New York Times Bestseller List, right?
Today I am very grateful for Royalty Statements. They’re my concrete proof that my dreams are coming true.
The net has appeared!
Of course I had to leap first.
Are you leaping?
photo created from a desktop photo by bosela from morgueFile and then photoshoping by Noah Willoughby and further manipulation by me!