“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”
~~ Douglas Adams
“Learning is a gift. Even when pain is your teacher.”
~~ Maya Watson
With a seemingly lot of bad things happening, it would be easy to get depressed. For instance….
As many of you know I am in the process of getting away from my Evil Day Job. And it is a pretty bad place. At least for me.
I have watched over the years as they have made it worse and worse for everyone.
It used to be a pretty nice place to work except for those long hours. We didn’t have to pay for our medical benefits—not one dime. Eye care was ridiculously cheap. And we got all kinds of other cool stuff. For instance, once a year they would rent out the whole of Worlds of Fun, an amusement park as big as such places as Six Flags. Even though there were still a heck of a lot of people there, you still rarely had to wait in line for even the most popular rides for more than five or ten minutes. And they fed us. It was quite a feast.
Then they claimed that hard times meant they had to take that away from us.
And bit by bit, all the good things went away. We pay for our benefits for instance. And starting next year, even if we are out for FMLA reasons, they will take that out of our four weeks paid time off. Meaning is someone has to be out for an operation or something, they won’t be able to take a family vacation.
Worse is the fact that everything I was valued for, my imagination, my thinking ahead, my coming up with better ways to do thing—suddenly they didn’t want that any more. They only want automatons. People who come in and do their job and then go home—except of course that there is often tons of over time. My husband has worked over two-hundred hours of overtime this year alone!
I have gone from being the delight of the department to the ball and chain. If I only had to be there four hours a day it would be miserable. My supervisor, who was as much a friend as a boss, was incredible.
Now? Now she says things like, “Why do you need to know why were are doing this? You are going to have to do it if you know why or you don’t know why. So can’t you just come in and do your job? That’s all I want! I want you to DO. YOUR. JOB!”
This was after I innocently asked why they were bringing in almost everyone to redo a huge job. It must have cost my company thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars to redo the job between paper costs, supplies and hourly wages (many people who were making time and a half).
My answer (to myself) to her question was, Well maybe if someone would ask these GD questions once in awhile all these mistakes would stop happeneing!
For all those reasons and more, the job has become insufferable.
And then came FMLA.
My doctor told them I couldn’t work overtime anymore. Which helped.
Although it up’ed the quota of how much management doesn’t like me anymore and they are just making it more and more miserable.
And now? Now my doctor has put in a clause where I can call in twice a week if my depression makes it too hard for me to work.
But here is the surprise. I thought I was going to get fired.
Instead, they have been given reason to believe I am so depressed I might do something drastic.
I have been given off the next ten or so days to get to feeling better.
And it is going to help, believe me.
Especially if we get to adopt the new dog, Oliver!
I am feeling better already.
I am writing.
I have started a new novel with a friend of mine—which I want to keep secret for now.
And “R” says if I lose my job and something happens that I can’t collect unemployment (the job is notoriously good at making that happen) that we will be all right and he totally loves and supports me and that all will be well.
So there. Imagining the worse did nothing. The worst didn’t happen. And what could the worst be?
It’s happening! Just like the Max Ehrmann’s Desiderata says, “And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.”
Today I am grateful for a lot. The sweet little dog curled up next to me. My amazing husband and his support. That everything is falling into place. And for FMLA, which is going to make all the difference in the world.
Today is a good day. Because I am using the right eyes. And seeing only the good. Who needs to see potential bad?
Thoughts become things.
And my thoughts are all glorious!