I am simply exhilarated.
I have a huge fear of falling. It is my biggest fear.
For a long time I thought it was a fear of heights but a lady I knew who knows all about phobias and such and was at that time just about to become a psychiatrist or psychologist or whatever-gist pointed out I have a fear of falling–and there’s a difference.
I laughed at first. Oh sure!
But there is.
If I feel closed in and as if I can’t fall, I am fine. If I feel I can fall at all, I go psycho.
Today we went to this very fun placed called Wonder Works and it was filled with all kinds of fun stuff to do and interesting stuff as well. For instance, sticking your hand in this small, small little pool of water that is the same temperature as the water the people who were on the Titanic fell into. I couldn’t keep my hand in there for thirty seconds. It is clear why those people died.
I was on a bed of nails! A real one!
I was in a room that simulated a 5.5 on the Richter Scale earthquake.
We also had a magic dinner theater and even though I know it was “tricks,” I had a simply marvelous time. I willing suspended my disbelief and I am grateful I did.
But the evening ended what I went up into the rafters of this dark, dark room–and while on a harness–crossed tight ropes and I-beams and step stones and some other very very very scary stuff. I was quite simply terrified at first and this guy who worked there had to hold his hand out and talk me into the first of the really frightening parts.
I almost quit.
But then I thought about this blog and what I would have to be posting about tonight and I thought–I have to do this.
I preach to people that they can do anything that the set their minds to. Go in a plane, meet people, sing in public, drive a car, submit a story to a publisher, swim, have sex with someone of the same sex, leave an abusive lover, date, reject a religion that has caused them nothing but harm, change a belief system that has caused them nothing but harm, go for a promotion at work, leave a job, apply for another job…. The list goes on and on.
So if I didn’t face my fears tonight, then how could I practice what I preach. Were my words empty?
I did it! OMGosh I did it! And I am not even posting the scariest parts because there was no way to get a picture. When R was done I actually had him go down and take some pictures and leave me up there alone!
I am so proud of myself!
And the harness appeared!