Day 230 of 365 Days of Silver ~~ Grateful for “Glee” (and musicals)

Some years ago a dear Live Journal friend of mine named Matthew told me about this new series staring called Glee. I resisted. It sounded so dumb.

I resisted a year or two. But then as the Borg say, resistance is futile.

When Glee came on Netflix I gave it a chance. I was hooked almost immediately.

Yes, it was dumb. An Entertainment Weekly review once called it the worst show that you just can’t miss.

I’m gay. I love musicals. Maybe it’s the gay gene because I’ve loved them since I was a very little child and saw Mary Poppins when I was four and The Sound of Music when I was five.

And Glee is a musical. And it makes you feel good. It pulls out all the stops. It’s corny. It makes me cry. He makes me happy. It makes me applaud. It makes he cheer. It teaches sappy lessons. It inspires me. I watch the Christmas episodes when I want to write something to make the heart sing.

I cried like a baby when Cory Monteith died. My heart soared when Kurt and Blaine made love for the first time—high school boys having gay sex and not getting punished for it! I cried like a baby when they did How the Grinch Stole Episode episode. I cheer when Rachel was a success on Broadway with the revival of Funny Girl. I won’t even talk about Sue’s sister, who had Downs Syndrome, died. And oh oh oh oh how I laughed in delight when it was revealed that Brittany’s real father is…ooops!…I better not say!

I stopped watching soon after Finn died. Problems with my DVR was part of it…. And wondering how Glee could be Glee without him.

But I noticed today that Netflix has the sixth season. I decided to watch one episode. I have watched it all day. Miraculously I wrote over two thousand words today. Because Glee inspires me. That’s what I love about it.

And it brings back memories.

The first man I ever fell in love with as named Hunter.

I met him junior in high school. He was one of those students that started midterm. He walked in the door of my math class and the world stopped. It just stopped. I had never seen anyone so beautiful.

I found a way for us to become friends. And we became good friends.

Years later he was the first person I ever told that I thought I might be “bi-sexual.” This was my way to see if I could tell him I was in love with him. Because I still was. He was totally cool with it.

So a little while later I told him that I had met this guy and I thought I was in love with him but I was afraid if I told him that he wouldn’t have anything to do with me anymore.

He got mad. He said, “Ben! I am so tired of you not taking any chances! Tell him! What’s the worst that could happen? Maybe he likes you back and then you’ll have love!”

So I did it. I said, “I’m in love with you Hunter.”

There was a long pause. And then he told me that he thought it would be a good thing for me to leave.

That was pretty much the end of our friendship.

I went home and went to my bedroom and turned off the lights and listened to the radio and hear Air Supply singing….

I’m lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too but what else can we do
Tormented and torn apart

I wish I could carry your smile in my heart
For times when my life seems so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn’t really know, doesn’t really know

I’m all out of love, I’m so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I’m all out of love, what am I without you….

So when the Glee Club sings that song… whoa!…memories.

And that is what Glee has been all about.

Yes it’s silly that the band always knows the songs. Yes, it’s silly that this high school group can set up the stage with snow fall and waterfalls and gorgeous sets and computer generated sunsets and that crowds suddenly can dance along and know all the steps.

But, hey!

That’s what musicals are all about.

And music.

And since cavemen times, music has aligned itself with our heartbeats. It has reminded us of the heart beat of our mother when we were in the womb.

And finally it represents something I’ve talked about for a long time.

Focus on things that make me feel good. It’s why I don’t watch many dark shows or the news or listen to dreary depressing music.

What I think about, I draw to me. I think about what I am feeling. I am feeling good then I think about good things. And then I draw good things to me.

It’s the Law of Attraction.

And it cannot be denied.

B.G. Thomas

PS and SPOILER ALLERT!!! Brittany’s real father is Stephen Hawking!! I thought I would fall off the couch laughing! I so love it!

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