“Where you are, there you are”.
~~ AA Milne
“No matter where you go – there you are”
I say and escape and I don’t know that is really true. I don’t want to “escape” from anything. I am wherever I am. I leave on my annual retreat keeping this in mind.
My problems will not be solved by going to the amazing and magickal Camp Gaea or by attending Midwest Men’s Festival. However, if I embrace both for what they are, and add myself to it, fully, completely, and with an open mind and heart, how can I help but be anything but healed?
The place is timeless. Days soon blur into each other, time forgotten. I can’t imagine how many times I’ve heard someone say, “Do you know what time it is?” and the answer come as something like, “Does it matter?” or “Who cares?” or “Time to swim” or “I don’t have a clue….”
Except when I clearly have to be somewhere because I have volunteered to go on the shopping trip where we buy 80% of the groceries to feed the attendees or my shift for Gate duty or an appointment I’ve made with someone (and all attendees know that is flexable) or a workshop someone is doing that I want to enjoy…it is ten days of not having to do anything. And that is bliss….
I don’t want to escape. I want to let go. I want to release. I want to hold things only with an open hand. The Buddha taught that. He said that grasping onto what we love or pushing away what we don’t want is what causes our suffering. The desire to make something we love always be with us—which it can’t be—causes anxiety while we have it and depression when it is gone. And the very act of pushing away what we don’t want causes suffering as well, because we are so focused on that object or thing we don’t want!
So…I go to Festival this year with the goal of letting go…and accepting whatever comes.
If there is one thing I don’t like about going camping is rain. I don’t like to be wet when I can’t get dry. When it just rains and rains, if that means a drizzle or a thunderstorm. It also prevents me from doing the things I want to do. I am “trapped” inside when I want to be out in nature, sunning myself, walking in the woods, laying on the beach or on a raft on the lake.
It looks like there could be a lot of rain this year. But I am not going to let it get to me. I have sandals. I have ponchos. I have umbrellas. And heck, I have a novel to finish. If it’s raining I will write and then won’t feel like I am missing anything!
My goal is to see friends, make new ones, cuddle, laugh, and be.
And if all goes well, post to my blog every day.
I probably won’t have access to email. Or very little. Oh well….
Why does that not bother me at all? *smile*
So now to finish packing and then the journey begins!
Until we meet again,