Day 198 of 365 Days of Silver ~~ A Powerful Experience

“Can miles truly separate you from friends… If you want to be with someone you love, aren’t you already there?”
~~ Richard Bach

Today something happened that has left me both sad and enriched. I’m floating, sort of numb, hurting, yet very clear-headed.

Back in 2007 l went into the hospital for what was supposed to be one to three days. I was there for thirteen. It was a galbladder and it led to several complications. There were times when I was in horrible pain and times I was in a drugged fog with boughts of forgetting and even amnesia.

Throughout it all, I mostly managed to remain cheerful and positive, charming and flirting with my nurses and caretakers.

Not that I can remember hardly any of it….

Today l read a near daily account recorded in my Live Journal. That was when LJ was the cool thing and Facebook wasn’t known. Hard to believe. It was also before hospitals had free wifi.

So who did all the writing in my journal? Why one of the best friends I’ve ever had in my life. Joanne Papin. We would talk for hours on the phone and she couldn’t really afford it. Then she would log into my account and give everyone updates on my progress and my set backs.

Here is the thing–since she wrote it, what I was reading was very much in her voice….

It was like being visited by a ghost.

I could feel her! Hear her! I felt warm. I felt as if she were right there, talking to me. The very tone of her voice. And when I finally finished readying it and tried to explain it to a friend, I couldn’t help but cry. I was hurting. And yet felt warm at the same time.

I am still in a strange place. I miss her. A lot. Her passing left a hole in my heart.

But I can say my life was enriched by having her in it and I am grateful that I was one of her few friends.

I am sad because I no longer have her there, just a phone call away. And because I don’t think she was every a very happy person. At least not often. She always seemed happy when it was just the two of us.

Dear Jo

Thanks for being there for me then, and now, and forever.

You have blessed me….
Namasté,
Ben

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