“This morning, the Supreme Court recognized that the Constitution guarantees marriage equality. In doing so, they’ve reaffirmed that all Americans are entitled to the equal protection of the law. That all people should be treated equally, regardless of who they are or who they love… …today, we can say in no uncertain terms that we’ve made our union a little more perfect.”
~~ President Obama
One year ago today my man and I stood in the Baltimore courthouse and got legally married. The room was a little tacky and we were fairly sure that the man who said the words had to do so if the wanted to or not. But it didn’t make any difference. Our witnesses were our years long friend Knotty-Scotty Frazier and the sweet and talented author Michael Murphy.
We were wearing purple, my favorite color and lovely purple striped ties and black slacks and shiny new shoes. R wanted to get married in jeans and T-shirts. After all, we’d been married as far as he was concerned on November 5th 2005. What did we need to get all fancy. But he changed his mind—for me—and now we could look nice for this very important day.
Because I knew we were married already as well. I knew that. Married in all the ways that really mattered. In our hearts and our lives and in the eyes of anyone who ever met us, let alone knew us.
But certain states in our Union had finally realized that R and I were human beings and we were citizens of the United States and we were no different than anyone else and deserved the same rights as anyone else. They had gotten their s*it together, even if some had been required to do so my state supreme court judges. Because the things is, supreme court judges had gotten their acts together—their souls in alignment—and finally stopped looking at us as sick monsters and acknowledged that we were people. People who just wanted to marry the person we loved. And that in this United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, had establish Justice, insured domestic Tranquility, provided for the common defence, promoted the general Welfare, and secured the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, and ordained and established the Constitution for the United States of America.
And R, who isn’t very romantic, had proposed to me. Oh! And the way he was looking at me! The expression on his face!
Ask Scotty! Ask Michael! Some of you know one or both of them. Ask them.
There was a funny moment when the officiate stumbled over the words and apologized…maybe he hadn’t presided over many gay marriages.
It was okay.
I thought I would faint. It was powerful. And then suddenly it was all over!
It was still damned incredible to sign our names in that huge book, forever in Baltimore’s records….
Amazing. Simply amazing.
Michael had to get back to work and he lives in Washington—that in the magick of everything that way going on—I hadn’t even realized was so close to Baltimore. He still had a good train ride to go and did all that for us—including taking our photographs. And if you’ve never seen his photography, you are missing something.
Scotty joined us for dinner and the food there was proof there is a God.
No…. That was the second to final proof.
The real proof was in that gold ring around on my finger. The one on R’s. The fact that he was sitting next to me and he was my HUSBAND.
And we were married because Leighton Rose & Jamie Alluisi started a You Caring fundraiser and my readers and fellow writers raised three thousand dollars to make it happen. Kansas City tried to f*ck us. They tried to stop it because not one single person in at the court house would sign an affidavit saying we were real people. They were too afraid because in Kansas City, “gay” marriage isn’t legal. And we couldn’t afford to go to Baltimore the extra day, change our plane tickets, pay for the incredibly expensive room…and more.
They raised that money and proved to me that life is a Silver Lining!
I don’t have to “look” for it! I can’t help but see it unless I am completely blind. But even that’s not true because blind people I have met love life!
To prove how silver life is…how gold…how platinum…there is this…. Something magick happened four days before our first (legal) wedding anniversary.
Now there is no such thing as “gay” marriage anymore.
Now there is just marriage.
And now, I really do live in a more perfect union.
I have a ton to be grateful for.
Thank you Universe,
All photographs except for the last by Michael Murphy